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John Lucas Trying to get my bearings I wander out into the bar fully dressed. George looks me up and down and shakes his head.

A quick change later, and Big George shows me round. There is a sauna, steam room and two jacuzzis, along with a of themed "couples rooms" — private spaces with red female silhouettes painted on the doors, containing double beds with thin plastic mattresses. The place is filling up now, the crowd predominantly composed of middle-aged geezers and their wives, with a few younger swingers in their twenties rounding everything.

One guy, a cabbie from Romford with a Comic Book Guy ponytail, marshals his wife, a harried, emaciated-looking woman in black lingerie beneath a long shocking-pink Online married women looking Benson Maryland vest, towards one of the bedrooms.

He shrugs. You've just got to talk to them a bit.

Get 'em frisky, like. Here, two large girls in bunny ears and see-through Ann Summers nighties spin round stripper poles. Pitbull bellows through Kesha's "Timber", played off a laptop by the DJ, a guy in his sixties Denton swinger club looks as though he'd be more comfortable sex hookup dagenham Val Sex hookup dagenham at the local dominoes club.

With glittery tassels hanging on the walls, fake plastic flowers, fairy lights and complimentary peanuts, crisps and Flumps on offer at the bar — plus the sense that many of the people here are regulars — the atmosphere is more akin to an Essex knees-up than an orgy. This impression is reinforced when the DJ drops Chas n' Dave's "Rabbit" to the obvious delight of everyone. My tour complete, Big George shakes my hand and wishes me luck. I head to the sauna, where I find Val and Pam.

I ask Val if she's a regular. It's me escape. It's only five Naughty lady wants sex tonight Sandusky from me 'ouse in the car. She's got a list going behind the bar. There are cheers from the second pool.

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The dirty cow! Pam giggles.

Is there a lot of sex here, then? Val accidentally brushes against my leg.

I ask her why she started coming here in the first place. Sex morenci az daughter and son-in-law told me about it.

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I didn't know what a blowjob was before, what an orgasm was Still living in the same house. Housing association gaff. Separate bedrooms.

He won't divorce me. Can't accept it's. He was a drinker. My granddaughter hates. I come 'ere Single woman seeking nsa Addison nights to get away. Georgia strokes Tom's engorged dick meditatively as she listens.

Alice is topless, attractive and the focus of much male attention. Dave and Jane come to swingers' venues like Paradise regularly.

They met Alice on their travels. She's had boyfriends, but also likes to play with other girls. That 'just got out of bed' look," says Alice. Here, eight Domino's Naughty women looking real sex Akron are laid out on a buffet table, containing a selection of deep-base treats, from Hawaiian to Meat Feast.

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The swingers tuck in hungrily. Lionel Ritchie's "Hello" plays in the background.

At the bar I get chatting to Charlie. In his twenties, he's just back from travelling around Colombia and has a passion for having sex with girls he meets while couch surfing. It's his first time at Paradise. He outlines his strategy for the evening. Paradise doesn't sell alcohol, but bringing it along is fine.

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She was hot. There's a lot of fatties in here, but the drunker I get, the better they look. You just keep seeing nipples and thinking, 'God, they're good!

Back in the TV room the porn is still playing, and Sue, in her fifties, is masturbating to climax while being cheered on by Val, Pam and an assorted crowd Lakewood friends sex other attendees.

It's time to go. The next day I text Charlie to find out if he had any luck.

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Got a BJ off one of the fat ones, ha! Hey, you know that young chick with the boobs in the sauna? She was hot, man.

But for Essex's fans of pizza and public wanking, the Paradise Spa offers a fine alternative.